Enneagram Type 7 - The Enthusiast - The Adventurer

Enneagram Type 7 - The Enthusiast - The Adventurer

Sevens are defined by their desire to experience everything life has to offer while avoiding pain and boredom. They appear to others to be lively, fun-loving, optimistic and extroverted.

Sevens are often very busy people who bounce from one activity to another in their quest to squeeze every possible bit of enjoyment out of life.

 

• [caption id="attachment_14915" align="aligncenter" width="997"] Enneagram Type 7[/caption]

 

 

Core Fear: Sevens fear getting stuck in a rut and missing out on the good life. They cope with this fear of being deprived by constantly seeking out exciting, novel, and fun experiences.

Core Desire: To feel satisfied and content. To have their needs fulfilled.

Core Motivations: Sevens want to avoid feeling bored, sad or uninspired. They are motivated to maintain their freedom and happiness by staying excited and occupied.

 

Type 7’s are playful, spontaneous and versatile, keeping busy with a wide variety of interests. They have TERRIBLE FOMO, so afraid of missing out on every juicy bit life has to offer that they run themselves ragged trying to experience it all.

Enneagram Type 7 moms are a joy to be around. Their enthusiasm for life, curiosity, and creativity makes everyday activities fun and engaging for children.

Type 7’s are also known as the Epicure. Someone who takes pleasure in fine food and drink. When my friend’s kiddo asked her what was for dinner, she responded with:

“Picture this: tender pasta ribbons cradled in a rich, velvety sauce bursting with the vibrant flavors of sun kissed tomatoes from Tuscany. Aromatic garlic and fragrant herbs envelops each strand with its hearty embrace, delivering a symphony of savory goodness to your palate.”

She looks at me and says “Spaghetti with Ragu sauce”. I can sell anything.

Enneagram 7 parents are often imaginative and creative, which can lead to innovative approaches to problem-solving. These are the parents who easily turn cleaning up your room into a game, contest and challenge.

Seven’s are flexible and open to new experiences, making them willing to adapt to their children's changing needs, personalities and desires.

7’s have an Adventurous Spirit so they encourage exploration and curiosity, fostering a sense of adventure and discovery in their children.

Enneagram 7 parents are often resourceful and quick-thinking, finding solutions to challenges that arise in parenting.
They enjoy sharing experiences with their children and are often generous with their time and attention. Sevens are sensitive to their children's emotions and strive to create a nurturing and supportive environment. Enneagram 7 parents inspire their children to dream big and pursue their passions with enthusiasm and determination.

Internally, Seven’s downplay negative emotions, easily finding a positive reframe for negative situations. This sunny optimism can be uplifting and inspiring, but can also feel a bit out of touch with reality. Sometimes, we want validation for our negative emotions and disappointments with life and it’s frustrating to only be allowed to focus on the silver lining.

I had a friend who was always praising her kids' activities, speaking about it in very high regard. If they were on a swim team, you’d think it was the best invention ever. When I asked why they didn’t do it again the following year, she would praise the beauty of creative, self initiated play and an open ended summer schedule. Whichever school they were in was the best school. Even when she ended up transferring, she refused to say a negative word.

It made our relationship very superficial. When I was going through a hard time with one of my kiddos, she was the last person I’d tell. Because she wouldn’t be vulnerable enough to admit things aren’t perfect, I found other moms to go to who were more understanding and compassionate.

 

Bright and expressive, Seven’s see the world as their playground, making their wide eyed enthusiasm for life an easy match for raising children. Sevens are often very imaginative and creative, with thinking fueled by creativity. They excel in coming up with new ideas and initiating experiences. However, they can struggle with focus and self-discipline.

Seven’s are quick and agile learners, able to learn new information AND new skills quickly, synthesize it and put it to good use. This ability to be good at many things without much effort can cause them to be a bit directionless in life. Their wide ranging curiosity, and ease with acquiring new skills, means they don’t always value what they offer compared with someone who worked really hard to achieve the same level of success.

As with the 5’s and 6’s, the work of the 7 is to learn to trust their inner guidance. 7’s keep anxiety at arm’s length by keeping busy and looking forward to new things. Raising children gives 7’s focus and endless opportunities to engage with new experiences, UNLESS they get sick, injured, are introverted 5’s who are easily overstimulated, or are forced to quarantine due to global pandemics.

 

Carrie came to life coaching during COVID lockdowns. She was struggling to keep her kids focused on their Zoom classes, while focusing herself on completing projects at her marketing job. She also had herself cleaning out the attic, building a home gym, learning to play piano and teaching her kids to cook. There were no complaints of course, she just wanted parenting tips to keep her kids focused.

As we talked, I started to get a fuller picture. Carrie was drinking every night, had difficulty with sleeping and was scared about her family getting COVID and deathly afraid of BOREDOM.

Once we addressed Carrie’s fears, the anxiety calmed down. She no longer needed to run away from her busy brain. She started drinking less and sleeping more. We used her long list of projects to help her tune into her inner guidance and prioritize the things that helped her feel balanced.

Carrie learned that she was using excitement to distract herself from her anxieties and what she yearned for the most was the feeling of contentment. Joy, enthusiasm and happiness came easily to her, what she really yearned for was peace and contentment so we practiced it.

By the end of our 12 sessions, she had a clear vision of what she wanted to accomplish during COVID lockdowns, with tools to keep kids focused, and a structured schedule she had been craving. Whenever Carrie got frenetic or felt the urge to start drinking, she used it as a reminder to feel her feelings. She slowed down and asked herself, “What is the feeling I’m trying not to feel?” She processed her negative emotions in a quick and easy way, then practiced the feeling of contentment. Once she stopped avoiding her negative emotions, Carrie’s playful and creative spirit made lockdowns fun for the whole family.

3 Questions to help determine if you might be a type 7

1. Can you find a silver lining to almost every situation and easily reframe negatives into positives?
2. Do you constantly seek new and stimulating people, ideas, or events to keep life exciting, adrenalized and moving forward?
3. Do you have trouble sustaining your focus on projects, people, and conversations without considerable effort?

 

Struggles that Enneagram Type 7’s may have while parenting:

1. Difficulty with Routine: Enneagram 7 parents may struggle to establish and maintain consistent routines, which can be challenging for children who thrive on predictability.
2. Impulsiveness & Risk Taking: They may sometimes act impulsively without fully considering the consequences, which can lead to inconsistency in discipline or decision-making.
3. Avoidance of Conflict: Enneagram 7 parents may shy away from confrontation or difficult conversations, which can hinder effective communication within the family or prevent moms from setting boundaries and being “The bad guy”.
4. Restlessness: Enneagram 7 parents may have difficulty staying focused on long-term goals or commitments, which can be unsettling for children who crave stability.
5. Tendency to Overcommit: Enneagram 7 parents may take on too many obligations or activities, leaving little time for quality bonding with their children.
6. Fear of Missing Out (FOMO): They may feel compelled to constantly seek out new experiences, which can detract from their ability to feel content in life.

 

What Seven’s gain from life coaching

• To process negative emotions and trust that their needs will be met.
• The ability to feel calm and satisfied in the quiet moments of life.
• To prioritize their many passions and move forward with goals that truly matter.
• To rely on their inner guidance

 

I was working on a somatic mind-body coaching program and needed some people to practice on. Naveah was having pain on her side of unknown origin. The doctors couldn’t find any explanation for her pain and it was causing her a lot of anxiety.
I walked her through an exercise in listening to her body. I asked her to name 5 things on her to do list and notice how the body responds to these tasks. The goal was to be able to identify the difference between the BRAIN and the BODY.
When we asked her body how it felt about going on her daily 10 mile run, it gave a negative reading (heavy and constrictive) but Naveah didn’t like this response. She quickly dismissed it saying enthusiastically, “I love my morning run! It’s the best part of my day! I’m training for a triathlon! I have to run! Running makes me feel better!”

This was such a great example of how her BRAIN was saying she loved running, but her BODY was telling a different story.
Naveah’s Type 7 personality didn’t want to recognize that there was anything “negative” getting in the way of her fun. She didn’t want to SLOW DOWN and REST even though her body was asking for exactly those two things.

The problem with overriding the body is that this is where our inner wisdom comes from. Our intuition or inner guidance speaks to us through our physical sensations. When Naveah ignored the heaviness and fatigue, her body screamed louder through side body pain.

7’s are the most prone to addiction because of their adrenaline seeking, happiness seeking tendencies. Seven’s fear of being deprived of happiness and being held captive by emotional pain and suffering.

The work of the Type 7 is to learn to trust your inner knowing and be able to process the quieter, darker emotions in an effective way so that you can get back to being your joyful self.

“All of humanity's problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” French Philosopher Blaise Pascal

 

3 tips for Enneagram Type 7’s moms

• Learn to sit quietly in a room alone. If you can’t do 5 minutes, do 1 minute or 30 seconds of deep breathing, working your way up to longer. If you can’t sit, go for a walk in nature. Always reminding yourself that you can be still and alone and nothing bad happens.
• Start tuning inward to understand the voice of your inner wise guide. It’s not urgent or a craving. It’s not jumpy, or loud. Our inner wisdom speaks softly, through subtle physical sensations of constriction or expansion. (unless you ignore it for years, then the pain gets louder and harder to ignore, but it will never go away.) Practice on things easy things: Do I want tomato soup or minestrone? Do I feel like running the treadmill or riding the bike? Work your way up to bigger things.
• Be mindful of the tendency towards addiction and find a safe space to help you access the more scary and vulnerable emotions. We need access to ALL our emotions in order to be whole. Therapy, life coaching, AA groups can help you evolve into wholeness and have a good time without hiding from your fears.

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