Embarrassed by my children’s appearance

Episode #133  Embarrassed by my children’s appearance

 

Question of the Day: 

 

I’m glad this post is anonymous because I’m embarrassed to admit this but I want to get it off my chest and I think you will help me. 

 

I’m embarrassed by my children. I look at moms posting photos on IG of their cute “mini-me” and mother-daughter BFF’s and I get jealous. 

 

I have a 13 and 15 year old who I love to pieces but I’m having a hard time feeling at peace with their choices. I take pride in my appearance and think how we present ourselves goes a long way towards our success in life. When I was their age, I worked hard to fit in, to look nice and be accepted by my peers. I mean, research shows that good looking people are more likely to get hired, make money, and be promoted. Why wouldn’t someone want to look as good as possible? 

 

My girls are beautiful, inside and out, but they don’t care about showing it. One identifies as non-binary and is experimenting with weird hair colors, piercings, and funky, gender neutral clothing. The other looks like she just rolled out of bed. She only wears oversized sweatpants and t-shirts, preferably used from thrift stores. Neither wears makeup, jewelry, or uses a curling iron. 

 

I was looking forward to the day I would take my girls to get makeovers or go shopping for cute clothes. I WANT to love them unconditionally but my judgment of their appearance and disappointment in their priorities is blocking me. How do I love them unconditionally when they don’t value the same things I value? How do I support them and feel proud of them, when I’m stuck in disappointment and embarrassment?

 

Anonymous